I am posting about chicken because I can't post about what is happening in our home right now.The children we have been fostering for the last year are about to go home prayers are appreciated. I don't know what to say about it yet... So I am posting an easy recipe that my kids love. I got this recipe from Blair Kaiser, I don't think she has a blog but if she did I would definitely read it.
Chicken breasts - tenderized (beaten with a mallet) I cut mine into bite sized pieces
Dredge in 1 cup flour 1 tbs paprika & salt & pepper to liking
Sauté chicken in olive oil 3 to 4 mins per side
Add 1 1/2 cup orange juice to pan (with chicken) - bring to a boil, cover & reduce heat - cook for 15 mins
Take chicken out, turn up heat & reduce the liquid to a yummy sauce
Pour over chicken when ready!!Great with yellow mahatma rice!!!!
Should have taken a picture but it was gone too quick! I served this with the yellow rice as suggested and some stir fry vegetables.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
5 hours or less
When my husband and I were becoming foster parents, I looked all over for sites and books that would talk more about the practicals of foster parenting. I could find all kinds of feely stuff about foster parenting, but what I wanted was a guide to tell me how best to prepare my house and my life for 0-2 children ages 0-6 who are Basic Level care (this is what we were licensed for at the time, now it is 0-4 children ages 0-6. Yikes!) I found nothing so I thought I would write a blog about the things Matt and I do when we are on the open list and how we have prepared for children in five hours or less.
1) Have some funds ready - Unless you are the type to have a car seat and bed and high chair in every size, it is pretty hard to have all the gear because our age range is 5 years. Sometimes we have a stockpile of giftcards or a savings account with some extra money. These kids typically come with nothing so you will need stuff and the state subsidy does not come through for a while. We use this to buy the bigger stuff. For example, when we got the call for our most recent placement, we needed a full size bed and mattress. We had some money saved up and ran to Big Lots and bought one. With our first placement, we had a stock pile of gift cards to go buy 2 car seats and 2 high chairs. We try to replenish the savings, pay off the credit card etc. once their subsidy comes in, but be prepared to spend up front. This is stuff we try to purchase before the kids come. When we get a placement call, we try to find out the childrens' sizes, (even if you only know ages, buy a little bit bigger (easier to fit a kid in pajamas that are too big than too small) We go to the store, get a couple of pairs of pjs, some day clothes, a couple of age appropriate toys (if we don't have any), kid friendly food (chicken tenders, waffles, apple juice) diapers if needed, toothbrushes, etc. This gets us through the first couple of days, because we usually lay low for about two days.
2) Have a "go team" - these are people ready at a moment's notice to bring you stuff you didn't know you needed. With our most recent placement they were both pretty traumatized and were having a hard time speaking. When "T" finally did speak, he said " I want Cars pull ups"...And so you shall have them. I wanted him to know that this was a place where he would be provided for and that he could communicate wants and needs and that he would not be punished. So we texted the Shackletts, and as always, they came through in the clutch. Your "go team" should be people who are ok with dropping stuff on the porch, passing it through a door and not being invited in to meet the kids just yet. We find it important to limit visitors the first couple of days so as to not overwhelm the already traumatized kiddos. Ideally, this group of people is small and geographically close and have been told that you are expecting a placement (i.e. family, close friends).
3) Tell people - When we get a placement, we tell our community (through text messages, facebook, and email). We are incerdibly blessed to have a huge community that belives in and supports our ministry in foster care. There are a few practical reasons, yet mainly this is for spiritual and emotional provision. When we got the call that T and J were being removed, we were told that the situation had become volatile that the children were barricaded in the house and that police were involved in the removal. I sent out a text to our close friends and family and they immediatly started praying. Each time we have had a placement, we have had our community praying for the children and for us during the time of transition. We belive this is vital to our success as foster parents. It has also been been crucial to tell our community because they have cleaned out their childrens toys and clothing, they have provided meals, giftcards, formula, diapers, and other supplies. This helps during those first days of transitioning children into our family. It so helpful to not have to worry about the practicals, every time a child has come to say in our home, I have been floored by the outpouring of love, support and provision.
4) Receive - Be willing to accept help, to accept items that are needed, and maybe even not needed at the time. Not everyone is called to be a foster parent, but allowing others to help, receiving their blessing allows them to be a part of your ministry in a major way. We always marvel at how our friends and family show up for us and for the kids we are caring for. I honestly don't know if we could do this without the community that we have!
I know this is not an exhaustive list of everything that could be done to prepare but it is what has helped us. Feel free to add any other suggestions in the Comments. I would love to hear them! Also ask any questions you think of.
1) Have some funds ready - Unless you are the type to have a car seat and bed and high chair in every size, it is pretty hard to have all the gear because our age range is 5 years. Sometimes we have a stockpile of giftcards or a savings account with some extra money. These kids typically come with nothing so you will need stuff and the state subsidy does not come through for a while. We use this to buy the bigger stuff. For example, when we got the call for our most recent placement, we needed a full size bed and mattress. We had some money saved up and ran to Big Lots and bought one. With our first placement, we had a stock pile of gift cards to go buy 2 car seats and 2 high chairs. We try to replenish the savings, pay off the credit card etc. once their subsidy comes in, but be prepared to spend up front. This is stuff we try to purchase before the kids come. When we get a placement call, we try to find out the childrens' sizes, (even if you only know ages, buy a little bit bigger (easier to fit a kid in pajamas that are too big than too small) We go to the store, get a couple of pairs of pjs, some day clothes, a couple of age appropriate toys (if we don't have any), kid friendly food (chicken tenders, waffles, apple juice) diapers if needed, toothbrushes, etc. This gets us through the first couple of days, because we usually lay low for about two days.
2) Have a "go team" - these are people ready at a moment's notice to bring you stuff you didn't know you needed. With our most recent placement they were both pretty traumatized and were having a hard time speaking. When "T" finally did speak, he said " I want Cars pull ups"...And so you shall have them. I wanted him to know that this was a place where he would be provided for and that he could communicate wants and needs and that he would not be punished. So we texted the Shackletts, and as always, they came through in the clutch. Your "go team" should be people who are ok with dropping stuff on the porch, passing it through a door and not being invited in to meet the kids just yet. We find it important to limit visitors the first couple of days so as to not overwhelm the already traumatized kiddos. Ideally, this group of people is small and geographically close and have been told that you are expecting a placement (i.e. family, close friends).
3) Tell people - When we get a placement, we tell our community (through text messages, facebook, and email). We are incerdibly blessed to have a huge community that belives in and supports our ministry in foster care. There are a few practical reasons, yet mainly this is for spiritual and emotional provision. When we got the call that T and J were being removed, we were told that the situation had become volatile that the children were barricaded in the house and that police were involved in the removal. I sent out a text to our close friends and family and they immediatly started praying. Each time we have had a placement, we have had our community praying for the children and for us during the time of transition. We belive this is vital to our success as foster parents. It has also been been crucial to tell our community because they have cleaned out their childrens toys and clothing, they have provided meals, giftcards, formula, diapers, and other supplies. This helps during those first days of transitioning children into our family. It so helpful to not have to worry about the practicals, every time a child has come to say in our home, I have been floored by the outpouring of love, support and provision.
4) Receive - Be willing to accept help, to accept items that are needed, and maybe even not needed at the time. Not everyone is called to be a foster parent, but allowing others to help, receiving their blessing allows them to be a part of your ministry in a major way. We always marvel at how our friends and family show up for us and for the kids we are caring for. I honestly don't know if we could do this without the community that we have!
I know this is not an exhaustive list of everything that could be done to prepare but it is what has helped us. Feel free to add any other suggestions in the Comments. I would love to hear them! Also ask any questions you think of.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Loss
With foster care loss is inevitable. You keep kids for weeks, months, and sometimes years. You raise them, you laugh with them, you clean up there vomit, you kiss their boo boos, you cuddle them when they are scared, you make memories with them, you bond, you get attached... then they go. Often times you hear nothing of how they are doing, you never see them again. It is abrupt. It is hard. It is heart breaking, gut wrenching pain like I have never experienced. When the girls (our first placement left) I collapsed on the floor under the weight of it. Then I cried out to Jesus. It looks as though the two children we are fostering now will be going home soon. We are struggling to complete the work with these children, because every time they do something funny it stabs at my heart, my chest tightens up because I know the memory of all of this will break my heart. People often ask "Do you get attached?" I have no idea how I could do this effectively and not get attached. I am parenting little amazing human beings. I knew when we were called to foster care that it would ultimately break my heart. But I wouldn't trade one second I have with the children that come through our house to wipe all that pain away. All that being said it is a strange life one that sometimes feels heavy. I read this quote by C.S. Lewis the other day and it comforted me about my impending grief.
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
Yes it is definately better to have a broken heart than a hardened heart.
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
Yes it is definately better to have a broken heart than a hardened heart.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Kingdom Stuff
For the past two years we have had the privilege of attending our foster agency Kornerstone's Christmas party. This is an interesting celebration comprised of a show choir , some awkward MC-ing (is this a word?), chicken wings, the Rangers mascot, and foster families of all shapes and sizes. The last thing on that list is what makes it special. I know that the life we have been called to is not the norm and because of that it can get kinda lonely. People don't understand. In public strangers stare at you. Your friends say things like "But don't you want kids?" as you have three attached to your body. I am not saying this to get pity don't get me wrong I want NO other life, but sometimes it is lonely. But for 3 hours a year in Pantego, Texas we are part of the norm. I look around the room and see all these families a potpourri of colors, many with kids who have disabilities, and no one is staring, no gaping mouth's, or whispering, or glances, or insensitive questions and for that 3 hours I don't have to explain myself to anyone. I don't have to bite my tongue and pray for grace because these people get it. They look around and see what I see. That maybe the table we are sitting at looks like The banquet table. Maybe for that 3 hours Kingdom comes on earth as it is in heaven.
Temporal/Permanent/Eternal
Being a foster parent gives you an different perspective on time. You live a very temporary existence. You often times have no idea when children will be coming or going. You don't plan birthday parties or vacations in advance, you don't finish your Christmas shopping early. You don't fill out baby books because a bunch half filled out baby books are depressing. You carry on family traditions with a completely different family every holiday, so they don't so much feel like traditions. When we were was driving to Christmas Eve service this year I thought I did this with a completely different family last year (except for Matt) and I will do it again with a completely different family next year (except Matt and Isaiah). Your life is very temporary and abrupt. Rooms must be able to transition from age to age or from one gender to another. You have a just add water family. In the last year and a half I went from zero children to two back to zero back to two then up to three and now it looks like we will be back down to one very soon. You live in the temporal from court date to court date to mediation never knowing when you will get the call that they will be going home or to kin. You parent in spurts only seeing some of the harvest of the seeds you have sown. If you have had a placement for awhile the people in your life (who mostly exist in the permanent) forget that your family exists in the temporal. They are shocked when nine months later you announce that your (foster) kids will be going home. They ask "Why now?" they are confused and even outraged. And sometimes you may feel that way too. But you remind yourself that you don't live where they do, you live in the temporal. This has become even more obvious to me recently. I have an adoptive placement a little piece of permanent in my temporal world. But I am having a hard time adjusting. I have not been keeping a baby book. Some one asked me if I was going to through a big birthday part on his 1st birthday my first thought was "If he is still here". All of this can be super frustrating and confusing but thankfully as a believer there is another kind of time that is of the utmost importance the eternal . In those moments where you feel like you are spinning your wheels in a broken system you can rest in the fact that your work does have eternal value.
Hebrews 6:10 (New International Version, ©2010)
10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
Hebrews 6:10 (New International Version, ©2010)
10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
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