God Is With Us

We got THE call again. You know - the big call for adoptive parents. The one that says you were picked to be a little boy or girl's forever parent. The first time we got the call, it went like this.

Our new son's name is Emmanuel. Emmanuel means God is with us. He is 22 months old and he is beautiful.

Here's where it began for him. About a year ago, last February, we were considering a legal-risk placement named Miracle. On the intial email we got about her, there was info about another child in her foster home named Emmanuel - which is unusual. Ultimately, we didn't get picked for Miracle. We moved on and continued submitting for and pursuing adoptions as they came up. We started feeling like maybe the next child we were going to adopt would be a teenager, so we started pursuing teens.
Flash forward to February of this year.
We had just submitted for a 14 year-old named Will and I got an email from my adoption caseworker about a child named Emmanuel which asked: "Is this the same Emmanuel who was with Miracle?" It was. They hadn't found him a home. On a whim, I told her to submit us, thinking nothing of it. We submit for adoptive placements as often as we change underwear. Seriously. We have NEVER been picked for one; even Isaiah was a foster placement.

Weeks went by and we heard from Will's caseworker. They wanted to move forward with us. The next step was a selection staffing which is a meeting where everyone discloses more info about the child and everyone has the opportunity to ask more questions. My caseworker had said to us: "If you move forward and end up getting Will, you will not be able to move forward with Emmanuel." We felt peaceful about that. We believe God brings the right kids, at the right time and for the right amount of time. We went into that Tuesday selection staffing thinking we were submitting for a fairly typical teenager who had been in fostercare. This turned out to not be the case as the meeting disclosed some shocking info. We were heartbroken about his story, but ultimately did not feel that he would be a good fit.
The very next day, we got a call that we were chosen to go to Emmanuel's selection staffing the following Tuesday. Tuesday came and we waited and prayed. I didn't even realize how much I wanted him until I was faced with the possibility of not getting him. On my way to get my foster daughter from school, on the side walk pushing Isaiah in a stroller, and holding the hand of my foster son - halfway between my house and the school - my caseworkers called me on speaker to tell me that Isaiah would have a brother. And that I would be a forever mom again. I cried right there on the sidewalk. Humbled and awed by the plan that God has for me and my family. Cried from thankfulness that God is with us, and He just gave us a daily reminder.

Temporal/Permanent/Eternal

Being a foster parent gives you an different perspective on time. You live a very temporary existence. You often times have no idea when children will be coming or going. You don't plan birthday parties or vacations in advance, you don't finish your Christmas shopping early. You don't fill out baby books because a bunch half filled out baby books are depressing. You carry on family traditions with a completely different family every holiday, so they don't so much feel like traditions. When we were was driving to Christmas Eve service this year I thought I did this with a completely different family last year (except for Matt) and I will do it again with a completely different family next year (except Matt and Isaiah). Your life is very temporary and abrupt. Rooms must be able to transition from age to age or from one gender to another. You have a just add water family. In the last year and a half I went from zero children to two back to zero back to two then up to three and now it looks like we will be back down to one very soon. You live in the temporal from court date to court date to mediation never knowing when you will get the call that they will be going home or to kin. You parent in spurts only seeing some of the harvest of the seeds you have sown. If you have had a placement for awhile the people in your life (who mostly exist in the permanent) forget that your family exists in the temporal. They are shocked when nine months later you announce that your (foster) kids will be going home. They ask "Why now?" they are confused and even outraged. And sometimes you may feel that way too. But you remind yourself that you don't live where they do, you live in the temporal. This has become even more obvious to me recently. I have an adoptive placement a little piece of permanent in my temporal world. But I am having a hard time adjusting. I have not been keeping a baby book. Some one asked me if I was going to through a big birthday part on his 1st birthday my first thought was "If he is still here". All of this can be super frustrating and confusing but thankfully as a believer there is another kind of time that is of the utmost importance the eternal . In those moments where you feel like you are spinning your wheels in a broken system you can rest in the fact that your work does have eternal value.

Hebrews 6:10 (New International Version, ©2010)
10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.