I talked about do this a while back and just never got my butt in gear. So I guess I'm in gear.
Tex Mex Pulled Pork
Ingredients:
1 (8 oz) can tomato sauce, 1 C BBQ sauce, 1 sliced medium onion, 2 (4oz) cans drained diced green chillies, 3 to 4 tablespoons chili powder, 1 teaspoon dried oregano, 1 (2 1/2 to 3 1/2 lb) boneless pork tenderloin 1/2 C chopped fresh cilantro
In a medium bowl mix tomato sauce, BBQ sauce, onion, green chillies, chili powder, cumin, oregano. Place pork in slow cooker pour sauce over the pork. Cover and cook on low for 8 to 9 hours or until tender. remove pork to cutting board and shred using two forks. Put back in the sauce.
Garlic Cole Slaw
1 bag (1 lb) shredded cabbage, crisped, 1 C apple cider vinegar, 2 1/2 T salt, 1 C mayonnaise, 1/2 C olive, 1/2 C minced garlic.
Mix all ingredients and let sit for an hour.
I like to serve this on toasted buns and pile the pork and the coleslaw all together on top. Trust me sooooo good and very messy. I also serve this with sweet potato fries.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
In the habit of saying YES
I have had a distinct feeling for a while that this Spring would be big for our family, but I wasn't sure how. Do you have have those moments where the purpose for the stuff you have been doing splits right open in front of you and you think: "This is it! This is what I have been praying, practicing, and preparing for!"
In the last couple of years, the Lord has brought us to some unexpected places. He has asked us to do some unexpected things. All the while, He has promised a more abundant and full life, and He has delivered.
It seems as though He has been asking a series of questions like this: Will you give up the thought of control? Will you do foster care? Will you leave a job you love and go teach? Will you leave a school you love and teach at another? Will you leave a church where you are comfortable and have a family and go to one where you have never laid eyes on anyone? Will you leave your job? Will you trust me to provide?
We said yes, most times relunctantly and most times holding on to some kind of safety net with our knuckles white. But I feel like all that has been practice, to get us in the habit of saying yes. We have gotten better at it. Letting go. Better at saying: this doesn't quite make sense and it doesn't even really seem like it will work, but God is good, and He is the one who is asking so...let's do it.
Last night friends, we met with some people, and they started laying out a vision, a dream. And while they were sharing all the pieces to their dream, all of those past yes's fell together and I realized that they laid out a path to the vision they were imagining. It was suddenly clear that all the stuff God had been cultivating in me seemed to be preparing me for sharing in the vision with them.
I am so excited friends and I wish I could share more, but right now there is much praying and talking and thinking to be done. Please pray for wisdom and clear vision for our family.
Luke 16:10
He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.
In the last couple of years, the Lord has brought us to some unexpected places. He has asked us to do some unexpected things. All the while, He has promised a more abundant and full life, and He has delivered.
It seems as though He has been asking a series of questions like this: Will you give up the thought of control? Will you do foster care? Will you leave a job you love and go teach? Will you leave a school you love and teach at another? Will you leave a church where you are comfortable and have a family and go to one where you have never laid eyes on anyone? Will you leave your job? Will you trust me to provide?
We said yes, most times relunctantly and most times holding on to some kind of safety net with our knuckles white. But I feel like all that has been practice, to get us in the habit of saying yes. We have gotten better at it. Letting go. Better at saying: this doesn't quite make sense and it doesn't even really seem like it will work, but God is good, and He is the one who is asking so...let's do it.
Last night friends, we met with some people, and they started laying out a vision, a dream. And while they were sharing all the pieces to their dream, all of those past yes's fell together and I realized that they laid out a path to the vision they were imagining. It was suddenly clear that all the stuff God had been cultivating in me seemed to be preparing me for sharing in the vision with them.
I am so excited friends and I wish I could share more, but right now there is much praying and talking and thinking to be done. Please pray for wisdom and clear vision for our family.
Luke 16:10
He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Being the norm and not the exception
Today we went to the Kornerstone foster care picnic. There was hotdogs, hamburgers, a proposal, fireman, families of all different colors,kids with special needs, a mish mash of humanity.For a couple of hours there are no questions or funny looks. No "God Bless you"'s. No need to explain or educate. Every once in a while it is nice to be the norm and not the exception. White teenage bio kids carrying tiny black foster siblings around to the games. Moms pushing strollers of children of every race and no one asks which ones are "really" belong to them because they know it takes more than giving birth to be a mother. And right in front of me orphans being un-orphaned, through love in small tangible ways, that are actually kind of huge, the extraordinary in the ordinary, the miraculous in the mundane. Kids being loved on forever even if it is only for a little while in the physical. And that will change there lives and their souls and even though it seems like an afterthought it changes ours as well. I am so thankful for this life. I am awed and humbled by this calling. My heart is so full this mothers day with love for my son and the sons and daughters that came before him.
Vanity and 160 Million Plus
It has been a month to the day since my last post and I have been so busy...not being busy. That's right. I am learning to slow down - somewhat against my will. You see, I am a spinner by nature; a stuffer and a spinner. In order to deal with stuff that I am uncomfortable with (fear, lonliness, inadequecy, etc) I fill my life to the point of spinning (think hamster in a wheel). Then I stuff my emotions. I feel like part of the reason I have been called to stay home during this time is to do some healing from this behavior and it has been very uncomfortable for me, but it has also been very good.
I have been grieving the foster kids who left recently; even the ones who left over a year ago. I've been reading through Psalms and making picture books for each of them. Allowing myself to remember things about them and cry.
I have also been taking care of myself. Running, cooking, reading my bible, sitting outside.
I have been falling more and more in love with Isaiah every day. Which is so scary to me, but amazing.
Recently, there was a legal glitch in Isaiah's case and even though Matt and I both felt like the Lord was calling us to take a break from accepting placements I immediatly started trolling for more children to add to our family. I was spinning. My thought process was that if something happens with Isaiah, I need a back-up. I know, right? Silly and twisted, but these are the things the Lord is working on in this season of my life. And while taking on another child would have been perceived from the outside as good, maybe a little crazy, but also noble and loving, it would have been a fear response that had nothing to do with loving and serving God and his children. It would have been self-serving attempt to control God's plan in my life.
Now, I have always had a burden for those who've been tossed aside by this world: the hurting, the orphans, the poor, the ill, the marginalized. One of the things that intially drew me to Jesus was that he is all about those people. I am too, sometimes. I have been a special ed teacher, a regular volunteer at AIDS hospices and homeless shelters, a foster parent, I have put together fabulous outreach programs, etc, blah, blah, blah. But even doing things that we classify as "good" when left unharnessed by our intimacy with God and guidance from the Holy Spirit can turn ugly and self-serving. At the height of my outward "holiness" when I was doing the "most for Jesus," I was ill, worn out, spiritually malnourished, and my ego barely fit in any room. I thought that if I didn't feed the homeless, or sit with the dying, or organize events, or foster children, or any other "Christian" thing - no one would. Vanity and bullshit. What a combination, right? God cared for the marginalized long before I did. This perfomance-based mentality has not gotten me anywhere and in the midst of my twirling and saving the world I often hear the whisper of "It's not about being good, its about knowing ME."
The new numbers have just come out and there are currentlyl 160 million orphans in the world (and that's a number that is growing daily) and it breaks my heart. I hate the thought of people, of children, not belonging. But they do belong. They belong to HIM. After all it was HIM who said:
John 14:18-20
"I will not leave you orphaned. I'm coming back."
Psalm 68
"Father of orphans,
champion of widows,
is God in his holy house.
God makes homes for the homeless..."
Deuteronomy 10:18
“He executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and clothing.”
Psalm 10:14
“But You, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.”
Matthew 18:5
“Whoever receives a child in My name, receives Me.”
Matthew 25: 45
“Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of the least of these, you did it unto Me.”
Deuteronomy 14:28-30
“The Levite (priest), because he has not portion or inheritance among you, and the alien, the orphan and the widow who are in your town, shall come and eat and be satisfied, in order that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hand which you do.”
Deuteronomy 26:12-14
“You shall say before the Lord your God, ‘I have removed the sacred portion from my house, and also have given it to the Levite and the alien, the orphan and the widow, according to all Your commandments which You have commanded me; I have not transgressed or forgotten any of Your commandments.”
I didn't say any of that...
It is satisfying to know that it is not about me. Not what I can do. Not how good I can be. Or how I can change the world. But that all I have to do is listen to Him. And say yes to the crazy stuff he asks me to do. And rely on Him.
When we got Isaiah some prophesied over him that he would rest in the promises of God I have been praying that over him and now I am trying to do that myself.
I have been grieving the foster kids who left recently; even the ones who left over a year ago. I've been reading through Psalms and making picture books for each of them. Allowing myself to remember things about them and cry.
I have also been taking care of myself. Running, cooking, reading my bible, sitting outside.
I have been falling more and more in love with Isaiah every day. Which is so scary to me, but amazing.
Recently, there was a legal glitch in Isaiah's case and even though Matt and I both felt like the Lord was calling us to take a break from accepting placements I immediatly started trolling for more children to add to our family. I was spinning. My thought process was that if something happens with Isaiah, I need a back-up. I know, right? Silly and twisted, but these are the things the Lord is working on in this season of my life. And while taking on another child would have been perceived from the outside as good, maybe a little crazy, but also noble and loving, it would have been a fear response that had nothing to do with loving and serving God and his children. It would have been self-serving attempt to control God's plan in my life.
Now, I have always had a burden for those who've been tossed aside by this world: the hurting, the orphans, the poor, the ill, the marginalized. One of the things that intially drew me to Jesus was that he is all about those people. I am too, sometimes. I have been a special ed teacher, a regular volunteer at AIDS hospices and homeless shelters, a foster parent, I have put together fabulous outreach programs, etc, blah, blah, blah. But even doing things that we classify as "good" when left unharnessed by our intimacy with God and guidance from the Holy Spirit can turn ugly and self-serving. At the height of my outward "holiness" when I was doing the "most for Jesus," I was ill, worn out, spiritually malnourished, and my ego barely fit in any room. I thought that if I didn't feed the homeless, or sit with the dying, or organize events, or foster children, or any other "Christian" thing - no one would. Vanity and bullshit. What a combination, right? God cared for the marginalized long before I did. This perfomance-based mentality has not gotten me anywhere and in the midst of my twirling and saving the world I often hear the whisper of "It's not about being good, its about knowing ME."
The new numbers have just come out and there are currentlyl 160 million orphans in the world (and that's a number that is growing daily) and it breaks my heart. I hate the thought of people, of children, not belonging. But they do belong. They belong to HIM. After all it was HIM who said:
John 14:18-20
"I will not leave you orphaned. I'm coming back."
Psalm 68
"Father of orphans,
champion of widows,
is God in his holy house.
God makes homes for the homeless..."
Deuteronomy 10:18
“He executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and clothing.”
Psalm 10:14
“But You, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.”
Matthew 18:5
“Whoever receives a child in My name, receives Me.”
Matthew 25: 45
“Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of the least of these, you did it unto Me.”
Deuteronomy 14:28-30
“The Levite (priest), because he has not portion or inheritance among you, and the alien, the orphan and the widow who are in your town, shall come and eat and be satisfied, in order that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hand which you do.”
Deuteronomy 26:12-14
“You shall say before the Lord your God, ‘I have removed the sacred portion from my house, and also have given it to the Levite and the alien, the orphan and the widow, according to all Your commandments which You have commanded me; I have not transgressed or forgotten any of Your commandments.”
I didn't say any of that...
It is satisfying to know that it is not about me. Not what I can do. Not how good I can be. Or how I can change the world. But that all I have to do is listen to Him. And say yes to the crazy stuff he asks me to do. And rely on Him.
When we got Isaiah some prophesied over him that he would rest in the promises of God I have been praying that over him and now I am trying to do that myself.
Friday, April 8, 2011
All about Isaiah- 9 months
I have seen other mommies blog on there kiddos birthdays so i thought I would try it.
Favorite Foods: You like most everything. Rice, refried beans, avacado, fruits, broccoli, cheerios, zuchini, tomatoes, cheese, and egg salad. You love Ritz crackers and hate turkey.
Favorite Things to do: Wrestle! You LOVE to be rough housed and thrown around. You like playing peek a boo. You love bath time and swinging at the park.
Things you are not so crazy about: riding in the jogging stroller, sleeping, tummy time (I think this is why even though you are right on the cusp of crawling you haven't done it yet.)
Favorite songs: Jesus loves me, The itsy Bitsy Spider, Patty Cake. You love music, in church during worship you get quiet and stare.
Milestones: you have lots of teeth, you clap, you sit up on your own and you are about to crawl!
Things that make you special: You are super active and verbal. You love to move and talk loudly! You laugh and smile easily. I think this is a great quality and something I have always loved about your Daddy!
Favorite toys: You like this talking dog things every time it makes a noise you grab it and bite its nose. You also like to play with your hair pick.
Favorite Foods: You like most everything. Rice, refried beans, avacado, fruits, broccoli, cheerios, zuchini, tomatoes, cheese, and egg salad. You love Ritz crackers and hate turkey.
Favorite Things to do: Wrestle! You LOVE to be rough housed and thrown around. You like playing peek a boo. You love bath time and swinging at the park.
Things you are not so crazy about: riding in the jogging stroller, sleeping, tummy time (I think this is why even though you are right on the cusp of crawling you haven't done it yet.)
Favorite songs: Jesus loves me, The itsy Bitsy Spider, Patty Cake. You love music, in church during worship you get quiet and stare.
Milestones: you have lots of teeth, you clap, you sit up on your own and you are about to crawl!
Things that make you special: You are super active and verbal. You love to move and talk loudly! You laugh and smile easily. I think this is a great quality and something I have always loved about your Daddy!
Favorite toys: You like this talking dog things every time it makes a noise you grab it and bite its nose. You also like to play with your hair pick.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I want you to understand that we are different but treat us like we are the same is that so much to ask?!
This title is funny. I mean, that’s a crazy request, right? Well, it's one I wish I could make, almost on a daily basis.
As a foster-almost-adoptive mother, sometimes I feel like a second-rate mom. Sometimes you get the vibe that if you didn't give birth to a child and are a foster parent your relationship with them is less than legitimate – not quite “real”. I had many people say to me when I got Isaiah: "Now you get to be a real mother." Depending on the day, I might have responded: "Oh, if I had known I wasn't a real mom before, I probably would have done it differently" or "Oh, so I guess those diapers I changed weren't real, the vomit I cleaned wasn't real, the tears I dried weren’t real, and the bedtime stories I read weren't real?" And if I was feeling more merciful: "No, now I get to be a forever mom." And even as an adoptive mother, I get the old standby: "Do you have/want any children of your own?" The only way I can describe this is like being cut with a knife.
I look down at my precious son and I think: How could any child be more my own? I have prayed for THIS child for as long as I can remember. I have dreamt about THIS child for years. THIS child is the one the Lord promised and delivered to me. THIS is the child I thought about as I jogged through my neighborhood before dawn with tears streaming down my face as Queen’s “Somebody to Love” blared on my iPod.
How could any child belong to me more than he does? He is truly a miracle (read his story here). He is MY son; God brought him to ME. He IS my own.
As a loving warning to those who know (and even love) adoptive and foster parents: I will say this now: PLEASE remove from your language those questions and statements which identify the obvious differences between our children and us.
I know that most of the time, the intention is not bad. But the words cut deeply into a mother’s spirit. When I think about Isaiah being old enough to understand those questions aimed at his identity as my son – the one God provided, I'm horrified at how they will make him feel. How will they make him feel about himself? How will they make him feel about me as his mother? About us as a family? As good as the intention behind the questions, the words seek to divide and separate me from my son.
Please understand, and be sensitive to the fact that adoptive families are different. And we are well aware of our differences. Adoption, by nature, is born out of the loss of, and gain of, an identity. We, like other foster and adoptive families, are seeking to reconcile and redeem these children to an identity as loved and loving family members and as children of God. And kids who have been removed from their home have experienced trauma that highlights already obvious differences. They will probably behave strangely at times. They will almost definitely be delayed. They will almost always have some poor coping skills. As a result, people – strangers and friends alike – let show with their faces and words that my family is different. I do not let my kids get away with stuff simply because of their subtle and obvious differences, but I also parent from the understanding that they have endured in the last 4 months, 6 months, 18 months, 2 years, and 4 years, things that you and I can't even begin to imagine. So, they may suck their thumb longer, have issues with men, may disrespect women, may shovel their food in their mouths, and sleep with all the lights on. It may be different from “the norm” – but really, don’t we all come from families closer to dysfunction than perfection? Trust that we are working on undoing the damage done and praying against long-term effects and renewing with hope what is good.
Remember these little ones are survivors, and regardless of differences, if we had been exposed to the things that they have, sucking our thumbs would be the least of our worries
As a foster-almost-adoptive mother, sometimes I feel like a second-rate mom. Sometimes you get the vibe that if you didn't give birth to a child and are a foster parent your relationship with them is less than legitimate – not quite “real”. I had many people say to me when I got Isaiah: "Now you get to be a real mother." Depending on the day, I might have responded: "Oh, if I had known I wasn't a real mom before, I probably would have done it differently" or "Oh, so I guess those diapers I changed weren't real, the vomit I cleaned wasn't real, the tears I dried weren’t real, and the bedtime stories I read weren't real?" And if I was feeling more merciful: "No, now I get to be a forever mom." And even as an adoptive mother, I get the old standby: "Do you have/want any children of your own?" The only way I can describe this is like being cut with a knife.
I look down at my precious son and I think: How could any child be more my own? I have prayed for THIS child for as long as I can remember. I have dreamt about THIS child for years. THIS child is the one the Lord promised and delivered to me. THIS is the child I thought about as I jogged through my neighborhood before dawn with tears streaming down my face as Queen’s “Somebody to Love” blared on my iPod.
How could any child belong to me more than he does? He is truly a miracle (read his story here). He is MY son; God brought him to ME. He IS my own.
As a loving warning to those who know (and even love) adoptive and foster parents: I will say this now: PLEASE remove from your language those questions and statements which identify the obvious differences between our children and us.
I know that most of the time, the intention is not bad. But the words cut deeply into a mother’s spirit. When I think about Isaiah being old enough to understand those questions aimed at his identity as my son – the one God provided, I'm horrified at how they will make him feel. How will they make him feel about himself? How will they make him feel about me as his mother? About us as a family? As good as the intention behind the questions, the words seek to divide and separate me from my son.
Please understand, and be sensitive to the fact that adoptive families are different. And we are well aware of our differences. Adoption, by nature, is born out of the loss of, and gain of, an identity. We, like other foster and adoptive families, are seeking to reconcile and redeem these children to an identity as loved and loving family members and as children of God. And kids who have been removed from their home have experienced trauma that highlights already obvious differences. They will probably behave strangely at times. They will almost definitely be delayed. They will almost always have some poor coping skills. As a result, people – strangers and friends alike – let show with their faces and words that my family is different. I do not let my kids get away with stuff simply because of their subtle and obvious differences, but I also parent from the understanding that they have endured in the last 4 months, 6 months, 18 months, 2 years, and 4 years, things that you and I can't even begin to imagine. So, they may suck their thumb longer, have issues with men, may disrespect women, may shovel their food in their mouths, and sleep with all the lights on. It may be different from “the norm” – but really, don’t we all come from families closer to dysfunction than perfection? Trust that we are working on undoing the damage done and praying against long-term effects and renewing with hope what is good.
Remember these little ones are survivors, and regardless of differences, if we had been exposed to the things that they have, sucking our thumbs would be the least of our worries
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Do not be anxious
A couple of days ago, I opened up my oh-so-convenient email devotional and got this scripture:
Philippians 4:6 (The Message) 6-7
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Then, that same afternoon, my husband sent me a text with the same scripture. I didn't really pay attention at the time. But this morning, at 4:15 am - when sleep escapes me, I am paying attention.
I'm worried.
I woke up with a start at 2:00am. You know, when you get that terrible feeling, like when your plane is taking off and you can't remember shutting the garage. Or when your phone rings in the middle of the night. Or when you just know you have forgotten something really important. I laid there for a moment, then realized what it was. Matt and I were paying bills the night before and after we were done we were in suprisingly good shape. (By the way, even though I am still receiving a paycheck, we are not touching it so we can get used to living on one income. ) I realized at 2:00 am I had forgotten to write down our mortgage and our monthly giving to the church. I got up and refigured what was left for the month. Let me just say friends - it's bleak. Very bleak.
I'm worried.
I want to take control of the situation. I want to crunch those numbers into submission. I want to go back up to my principal and tell him I have changed my mind and that I don't know what I was thinking. I want to take in more foster kids. I want to ask Matt to take a job that maybe he loves less but makes more. I want to take control. That's what my flesh wants to do.
But then I read:
Philippians 4:6 (The Message) 6-7
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. "
and
James 1: (The Message) 5-8
"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open."
And that sounds pretty good. I mean, "People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves." Who wants to be that girl? I will be honest folks, I do not trust God to provide but I want to. I have been self-reliant for too long. I think the more we rely on ourselves, the smaller we make Him in our lives. The more capable we think we are, the less capable we think He is.
I want to be smaller, I want Him to be bigger in my life. I want to value what He values. I want Him to determine what my needs are and how they are gonna be met.
When I was in college, I worked at an orphanage one summer in Matamoros, Mexico. Sixty-something kids all cared for by one couple. They lived in abject poverty. One day, one of the caregivers at the orphanage prayed to God that he would have orange juice for the kids. The next day, a truckload of oranges pulled up from a local produce dealer.
God is big, and good. He cares if orphans have orange juice. He cares for me. I mean, He is the fishes-and-loaves God. He can make my budget work. Heck, He is the bring-folks-back-from-the-dead God. He is the parting-the-sea, calming-the-storms, blind-can-see, lame-can-walk, Saul-became-Paul, save all of mankind God. That is a God you and I can rely on.
Philippians 4:6 (The Message) 6-7
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Then, that same afternoon, my husband sent me a text with the same scripture. I didn't really pay attention at the time. But this morning, at 4:15 am - when sleep escapes me, I am paying attention.
I'm worried.
I woke up with a start at 2:00am. You know, when you get that terrible feeling, like when your plane is taking off and you can't remember shutting the garage. Or when your phone rings in the middle of the night. Or when you just know you have forgotten something really important. I laid there for a moment, then realized what it was. Matt and I were paying bills the night before and after we were done we were in suprisingly good shape. (By the way, even though I am still receiving a paycheck, we are not touching it so we can get used to living on one income. ) I realized at 2:00 am I had forgotten to write down our mortgage and our monthly giving to the church. I got up and refigured what was left for the month. Let me just say friends - it's bleak. Very bleak.
I'm worried.
I want to take control of the situation. I want to crunch those numbers into submission. I want to go back up to my principal and tell him I have changed my mind and that I don't know what I was thinking. I want to take in more foster kids. I want to ask Matt to take a job that maybe he loves less but makes more. I want to take control. That's what my flesh wants to do.
But then I read:
Philippians 4:6 (The Message) 6-7
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. "
and
James 1: (The Message) 5-8
"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open."
And that sounds pretty good. I mean, "People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves." Who wants to be that girl? I will be honest folks, I do not trust God to provide but I want to. I have been self-reliant for too long. I think the more we rely on ourselves, the smaller we make Him in our lives. The more capable we think we are, the less capable we think He is.
I want to be smaller, I want Him to be bigger in my life. I want to value what He values. I want Him to determine what my needs are and how they are gonna be met.
When I was in college, I worked at an orphanage one summer in Matamoros, Mexico. Sixty-something kids all cared for by one couple. They lived in abject poverty. One day, one of the caregivers at the orphanage prayed to God that he would have orange juice for the kids. The next day, a truckload of oranges pulled up from a local produce dealer.
God is big, and good. He cares if orphans have orange juice. He cares for me. I mean, He is the fishes-and-loaves God. He can make my budget work. Heck, He is the bring-folks-back-from-the-dead God. He is the parting-the-sea, calming-the-storms, blind-can-see, lame-can-walk, Saul-became-Paul, save all of mankind God. That is a God you and I can rely on.
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