I woke up at 3:45am here on the dawn of my 30th birthday with a deep feeling of nostalgia and a rush of thankfulness. I started thinking back on the things. Things I have had and the things I haven't had.The things that I have done and the things that I haven't done. You know reflecting on what,where, and who I thought I'd be by this point.We all kinda of have those things so I ran through my list. Married to my love, my best friend, my ride or die chick (or maybe I am his I can't ever remember) for almost 10 years.He is a great husband, father, friend, hand rubber, cook, dancer, djembe player, and all around stand up dude. We have fallen apart and be rebuilt at least a dozen times it seems like. But we are still here learning how to be Mr and Mrs and there is still big love and a lot of laughs and no one else I would rather do it with. I have gotten to go a lot of the places I have dreamed of. I had a six week dream trip right out of the chute of college, and have seen a lot of places since then. I have had lots of jobs that I loved and a few I didn't.I have effectively left a career that I loved to do something that I love more (and that is a hell of a lot harder). I have learned and learned and learned about love, loss, healing,humans, over coming, and the power of the spirit. I have had 7 kids!!! In two years! 7 kids! In two years! Are you kidding!? That is loony. And one stuck and forever and for that my heart burst daily. I have an amazing albeit dysfunctional family that have given me the kind of love that is foundational and carries you when things get shaky. Here is the kicker of it all...the One who gave me all of it loves me in an drastic, ridiculous, unending,soul swallowing, crushing, heart aching kind of way; and I am starting to believe it more daily. He walks with me and carries me, he goes before me and has my back. I am learning to hear and trust his voice more every day. And thirty years ago after something crazy like 37 hours of labor when my stubborn ass finally made my appearance He smiled and knew that thirty years later I would be weeping at my computer at 4:00 am overwhelmed by His love and the fact that my life is what they call an embarrassment of riches.